37- Naomi's Birth Stories, Part 3 - struggles along the way

Transcript:

Welcome to the Preparing for Childbirth podcast where we talk about God's amazing design for childbirth, learn how to prepare for the unknown, handle the pain and lean into God's character through it all! I'm your host, Jenny Childs. I’m a follower of Jesus, wife, mom, and lover of all things childbirth. Thanks so much for joining me today!

This is episode 37. And the last part of my conversation with Naomi. In part 1, Naomi shared her birth stories about a hospital birth and 2 homebirths then in part 2 I chatted with her husband, Kevin, about his perspective on those experiences. Now in part 3 I’m back with Naomi to talk about a season of struggling during her last pregnancy. When we sat down to do a birth story interview, it was not my intention to talk about the counseling we did together. It came up at the end and was kind of an aside – Hey, how would you feel about sharing about that? And she was agreeable. Our prayer is that her story can encourage and help someone else.

Let me apologize in advance for the sound quality. We were doing this interview over a video call on what became a rather rainy night. During this part of the call the rain was particularly heavy. I was able to improve the sound quality some with editing but I couldn’t get all the background noise out.

Let’s jump in…

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Jenny: Are you comfortable talking about some of the struggles leading up to your birth… like some of the anxiety and difficulty that you were you were feeling leading up to?

Naomi: Sure, I'm. I'm happy to speak about that. And so with the third birth, I think when I discovered that we were or rather when we discovered that we were pregnant, it was unexpected. And I was in shock and denial. Sorry, it's raining, so there's probably…

Jenny: Over here too, yeah…

Naomi: I was in a lot of shock. It took me a bit to accept it. I struggled with it and then I was also dealing with some family stuff. And it just felt heavy. You know, it just, you know, sometimes I would have bits of such great sadness. I didn't think... It was palpable… like it was, it was palpable in the sense that I would feel it in my physical body - just the… Such deep sadness. Such deep despair. And even feeling at some point like, Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant and I'm having to deal with this very heavy family issue. Why? Why would God allow that? Why? Why would he? You know, honestly, if I'm being honest, at some point I thought you, I may lose this baby, but especially at the very beginning. Because I was really depressed or rather stressed, stressed out by the family issue that was happening. It was… I recall it was hard. I also recall being angry at being pregnant. Especially being angry at my husband, like, you know… Oh my goodness, yes. And. And of course, it made things difficult. There were also transitions last year for me… so I moved roles within the organization. There was a need for me to do some like… I needed to learn stuff in this new role. It was extremely busy in the new role and that was really just weighing down on me. I even recall I took my maternity leave much earlier because I was just feeling like I'm just too exhausted. You know, I'm too exhausted. So my parents moved during the same year. So there were lots of transitions and lots of changes. And I was expecting a baby and, you know, we're having to deal with this other family issue. It was a lot to deal with and you know that's why I did reach out for help because I needed some grounding. Sometimes we or rather I get into my emotions… Or rather, my emotions really dictate a lot. Yeah, a lot. How I make my decisions and even more so in pregnancy. So I wanted to reach out... I reached out because I wanted grounding. I wanted to just hear from someone who would tell me what the word of God is saying. Like, perhaps, I don't know. I needed that reassurance. And that's why I reached out to you for help. Thankfully you were extending that help. Thank you so much. I mean, to even think that that was available for me was a blessing.

Jenny: Yeah. So in that time when it was kind of… those feelings of sadness or anger were kind of building as you got closer to your due date and so you chose to reach out for biblical counseling help which I was able to offer and I think that that was a really great thing that you did. That took a lot of courage to reach out and say, “hey, I'm. I'm actually not doing so well and I want to try to get this right before the baby comes.” And I can remember the baby came a little early, so we were supposed to meet, and then we didn't. And I was concerned for you, like, oh, the baby's coming. And how's she doing? And I came to visit you. And it was like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders. I don't know, just the whole birth experience was… transformational for you.

Naomi: It was absolutely. I was on an oxytocin high for some days. Yeah, I was just so happy. I was extremely happy for several days. It was amazing. It was… Yeah. What a gift that was.

Jenny: But already even before Baby was born, you were starting to process through biblical truths and you were starting to think rightly, just about the situation and about who God is and why you're here. And all of that. So it was, I think, helping to set you up in a good spot, even though we didn't get as far as we had intended to before baby came.

Naomi: For sure, it really was helpful. I actually, recall the PEACE acronym. Actually, I remember you wrote it somewhere. It's hanging on my, you know, on top of my bed in my room because I still look at it very often and I recall your suggestion, your advice to, you know, to write down the truths and when these bad thoughts or these negative thoughts come, then I pivot them towards the truth. That was so so so helpful. Yes. I still use it.

Jenny: Yes, that's so good. The PEACE acronym, like you were saying, the P stands for Pivot the bad thoughts. And then E, do you remember? …is for Embrace the truth. Yeah, A- acknowledge God's character. Acknowledge God's character. So, P. E. A. and C - Call out to God. And then the last E is Emphasize the Gospel.

Naomi: Yeah, yeah. It was really helpful. It was really, really helpful. Yeah, it was. It was.

Jenny: Well, thank you for sharing that. I pray that it will be an encouragement for other moms. We talk a lot about postpartum depression or the baby Blues but sometimes there's just a sadness or a weight that can come even during pregnancy, a prenatal struggle. And I think that it takes a lot of courage and I want to commend you and also encourage other moms to reach out for biblical counseling help or just reach out to a trusted, mature believer or friend in your church who can point you towards the truth of God's word and help you remember who God is and who you are in Him to calm your heart and help you to prepare your heart for this transformational time in your life. Yeah, thanks for sharing that. I appreciate it.

If you’ve enjoyed today’s podcast or found it helpful, I hope you’ll share it with a friend, and I’d love for you to leave a rating and review.

It is my prayer that these podcasts will help you grow in confidence and peace as the day draws near for you to meet your little one. I'm so glad you tuned in today.

And if you’d like to go deeper or have some help along the journey, I encourage you to check out my Growing in Confidence and Peace childbirth course or the preparing for childbirth community. There’s a link in the show notes where you can find more information about either of those.

Show notes:

Part 3: Naomi and I chat about a difficult season of anxiety and anger during her third pregnancy and how God’s word helped to ground her and help her prepare for the birth of their baby.

Resources Mentioned:

P.E.A.C.E. acronym from Postpartum Depression: stopping the spiral with His sufficient Word by Shelbi Cullen

Pivot the bad thoughts

Embrace the Truth

Acknowledge God’s character

Call out to God

Emphasize the Gospel

Connect with me:

Growing in Confidence & Peace Childbirth Course

If you’re local to Nairobi, Kenya, this is the link for you!

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